We all want the best for our kids, especially when it comes to choosing a mate. We want to absorb any heartache that they may endure but as hard as it is we have to face the fact that it is not our relationship and not our life to live.
I remember vividly the very first time my child came home in tears over a boy. The hurt on her face was a look that I will never forget and I would have done anything to make that pain go away. We have always had an open and honest relationship so of course as she began to tell me the story of what happened I grew very angry. Not even so much about the offense but because she was hurting. I was angry that someone had hurt my baby and there was nothing that I could do besides be there for her.
As the years passed and boyfriends came and went she finally met “the one”, but of course all relationships come with ups and downs. I taught Allison a long time ago that anything worth having was worth fighting for so whenever challenges came about she stood her ground and the relationship grew into what is now a beautiful marriage.
Anyone who knows me knows what my family means to me and as my baby Allison is my heartbeat. She and I talk about basically everything so I had to learn how to be somewhat objective when she would tell me certain things because I will truly hurt someone over her. She also had to learn how much information to divulge because I have been known to hold a grudge. LOL
I have been known to make promises to some of her suitors and I have even let her now husband know that I would kill him if he stepped out of line. All in all relationships take work and at some point hurts will occur on both sides. The important thing to remember is that love is the key factor in getting past hurts.
As Mothers we are born nurturers and we want to absorb the hurt for those that we love. When it comes to our kids and their relationships we have to learn to take a giant step backwards and face the fact that it is not our relationship nor is it our life. We have to learn to be there for support without letting our natural instinct to protect take over.
