Things have changed so drastically from when we were in school. We didn’t have cell phones or all of the social media avenues that our kids and grandkids have today. When we got into a fight it was fists and feet but today it’s guns, knives and who knows what else.
Sure we were bullied but it was done face to face and yes, it did usually end up in a fight but today kids and even grown ups have the luxury of hiding behind a computer to say and do horrible things to each other. Kids today are faced with all kinds of challenges that we as adults have no idea about. Nowadays kids are not afforded the luxury of just being kids. Colleges have stricter requirements for admission and sports scholarships have become dog eat dog.
If you are lucky enough to have your kids come to you to discuss their problems please don’t belittle their emotions or their problems. Even if they come to you with boyfriend or girlfriend problems don’t make light of their feelings. You may not understand why it’s such a big deal to them but chances are your parents didn’t think your problems were a big deal either but to you it may have been the end of the world.
Whenever my daughter or one of her friends came to me with a problem I was always careful to listen with an open mind and try to imagine being their age and dealing with the issue. I would tell my daughter all the time that her feelings were her feelings and that they were legitimate feelings. In an earlier post I talked about walking in your child’s shoes and this is yet another example. As a teenager or young adult we have all had our hearts broken or been betrayed by a friend. At the time it seemed like it was the end of the world and I can assure you the hurt ran deep. Now as an adult you can look back and laugh at how silly and trivial the offense was but it was detrimental when it happened. Think twice before you shrug your kids and their problems off as being kid stuff. Kids are committing suicide at alarming rates because they feel their situations are hopeless. Be an anchor for your child, not a weight.
Remember feelings are feelings and they are all legitimate whether they are yours or your child’s. Again, spend a day walking in your child’s shoes. You may be unpleasantly surprised.
